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Generational Cycles: Recognizing, Acknowledging and Resolving

Check out “Putin Hot sauce On It Don’t Make it Cajun” new blog.. series on Generational Cycles

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We all know and understand that life itself is made up of cycles. Cycles of the weather. Cycles of nature, and cycles of life.  Most of these cycles are natural and understood to be the natural means and ways of replenishing and rebirth.  Weather changing from cold to hot; change in seasons, which in essence is rebirth of nature. New lively, and healthy children replacing the old, frail and elderly.

The only time these cycles become dysfunctional is when humans start disrupting or causing dysfunction.  Air pollution, and emissions, usually injected by humans; causes weather changes, per scientist (and anybody else with good sense).  These air borne pollutants can also be attributed to sickly and asthmatic children, but I digress. As a disclaimer, these are my opinions, and experiences that I choose to share for my blog post. They are my thoughts.

Getting back to my original thoughts regarding GENERATIONAL CYCLES. These cycles too can be disruptive to the family unit. Unfortunately, many times cycles within many families are intentionally and purposefully ignored for many…

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Generational Cycles/ Unforgiveness

Check out “Putin Hot sauce On It Don’t make it Cajun” blog talking about Generational Cycles

MP's Life IGNITERS!

“Girl, why are you still ANGRY about something that happened two years ago?”

For me, the obvious reason is one has not forgiven their wrong doer.

This is the question I would ask my ‘sisters’ and ‘brothers’ when we continue to hold hard feelings towards our pass aggressors. You know, the one who wouldn’t loan us the 200 hundred dollars, or the one who was talking with someone we were ANGRY at; or any other silly a** reasons we become unforgiving.

Not being able to forgive is a horrible and bitter GENERATIONAL CYCLE for one to consume. This state of mind doesn’t hurt anyone except for the one doing the unforgiving. This state of mind causes the unforgiving to become bitter, cold, and angry to name a few emotions. This cycle can cause a type of unnecessary festering of wounds, new and old wounds which are never allowed to heal. Un-forgiveness allows the victim to constantly have reasons to hold on (in their mind, to victimization) on to others and sometime our…

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Generational Cycles/ Unforgiveness

Generational Cycles/ Unforgiveness.

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Do you have it in you to become MILLIONAIRE status?

Well, I’ll answer that for you…Yes, you do!!! Are you interested in becoming so financially set that you don’t ever have to worry about bills ever again!  It doesn’t matter who you are, or what your background, this proven system is LIFE CHANGING. You can finally afford   the fancy jewelry, cars and houses you’ve always dreamt of. Alongside these throw in travelling and building wealth, which can be passed down from one generation to another. The catch to all of this success is helping people become HEALTHY!! We all know someone who is suffering from weight and health issues. And we also know people who suffer with allergies and would embrace NON-TOXIC products in their homes. There you have it build a highly lucrative career by helping someone get HEALTHY and stay informed…

Stay tuned for information on how to join this MOVEMENT of building financial WEALTH!! I can’t wait to offer you this information,  so if there is the slightest interest in building residual income RT the blog post… or DM. @KulturePhanatic

Thanks Patty

 

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Generational Cycles: Single parenting

During my childhood days I didn’t really understand the concept of a “single mother.” I knew that my father was not in the home I grew up in. I knew my father still loved my siblings and me, but couldn’t understand why he was in one place and his children were in another. No one every had the gumption or audacity to ask our mother why she and our father lived separately?

Later, I realized  that my mother wasn’t an only single mother. She had a sister and some friends who were single, also.

Not to say anything is wrong with being a single mother or parent, heck I was, and I’m still one, as we speak. Although, I did have the luxury of  co parenting and support of my children’s father, once separated.  Unfortunately, many women on many occasions do not.

Becoming an unwed or single mother is  not how most girls are women  dream of their life.  Speaking for myself, as a young girl I imagined becoming educated, finding a husband, having children and living a stable and loving life. Mostly because of everything I had witnessed as a child in my own life. I wanted the opposite of everything I was conformed to. Unfortunately, sometimes unforeseen  events happen which can  hinder ones wants and dreams.

I am simply saying this to bring awareness to GENERATIONAL CYCLES when it pertains to single parenting. In my case, I notice one generation to the next repeating the cycle of having children out of wedlock.

We can have the babies for the men but we don’t expect them to marry us, or stick around and help raise the child. Why?

I’ve notice that many woman and girls who did not have the love of a father; and men who did not have the love of a mother, sometimes seeks that approval and missed loved from women and men  we date. Because we love and believe in our black men and woman so much, we give our all when we think he or she is the one; even if   we  know  deep inside that he/she is not the one. We tend to still try to make it work.

We have to start having more self-worth and higher standards for ourselves. We should have higher expectations about the person who can possible be the father or mother of our children.  Paying attention to dysfunctional situations is the start, noticing red flags as I call them, and then handling them accordingly.

Recognizing, Acknowledging and Resolving this cycle is possible.

Yes, we may have been brought up thinking single parenting is the norm for families, but it’s not. I knew I needed my children’s father involved in their lives, because I knew I could not show my boys how to be a man, and my daughter needed someone to be an example to her when it comes to what is expected of her future, boyfriends, dates and possible  husband.

The cycle continues when we as cognoscente people fail to recognize the patterns that continues the GENERATIONAL CYCLES for many families; whether  shame, embarrassment or lack of self actualization, recognition has to start  within the family.

Don’t misunderstand me some single parent households are wonderfully adjusted. If the parent/ caregiver is stable, and is able to provide emotional, financial, educational and physical support to their children fine.

The single parent/ unwed mother dysfunction  I’m speaking of involves lack… Lack of love, which cycles down, lack of emotional support, which cycles down. Lack of education, lack of finances, and so on. In many instances this is the spiritual bondage many generations have a hard time recognizing, acknowledge, and resolving.

Fortunately, cycles can be  changed. We can start by having more self worth, and expecting more from ourselves. If we want to see change sometimes we have to be the example. Lets love ourselves to know we do not have to give ourselves to every, Tom, Dick, and Harry, who may impregnate us and may or my not stick around to  help with the nurturing and raising of our children. Raise  your expectations in potential partners. Ask about intentions. Be woman and man enough to let that potential partner know what you expect in a relationship.  Yet, be  confident enough and self assured enough to move on to  the next prospect, if expectations can’t be met.

 

Sincerely Patty

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Generational Cycles: Curses/Spiritual Bondage

Ever since I was a child I was observant, curious, or just plain nosy as my mother would say. Although, I would beg to differ, of course. I was just an inquisitive child who was curious as to the  who; what, whens,  and why’s  of most things.

I was curious as to why we moved from one city to another? I was curious as to why we were so less fortunate then other? I was curious as to  why my mom could not afford to keep lights on occasionally? I was curious as to why my mother was a single mother with nine children.

Fortunately my curiosity did not kill the cat, but it certainly got me slapped in the mouth on occasion.

It was because of my curiosity which led me to start analyzing different situations within my family unit. Such as why my family was subjected to such hardships that other families weren’t  such as, lack of emotion, lack of food, lack of money ? Why didn’t we  have a two parent home? Why there was no emotional love? Why was my mother repeatedly abused? And finally, how do I prevent myself from repeating  these GENERATIONAL CYCLES?

Do not misunderstand me, I love and appreciate my mother with every inch of my soul, but she lived a hard life and I wanted something different for my life. My mother had nine children, she was a single mother for the most part, and her only concern was feeding and housing her children. No time for contemplation about why her life turned out the way it did, and how could she change it.

These alongside many other questions prevailed me to continue  seeking what, when, and why’s of mine and my families life structure and the outcome of that particular structure.

Soul searching and reading the bible soon led me to realize all of these family dysfunctions which were evident were  a continuation from  previous GENERATIONAL CYCLES. The bible even states  families become enthralled in SPIRITUAL BONDAGE which in essence is the same as GENERATIONAL CYCLES

Spiritual bondage  consist of many stages. The trait I will focus on is STRONGHOLDS  :  strongholds such as manipulation. This bond is very present in most surroundings, yet unrecognizable to many. Unfortunately, the manipulated reaps benefits for their lack of acknowledgement therefore, hindering oneself from resolving what is actually taking precedence. The cycle of deception.

Another form of spiritual bondage is UNFORGIVENESS.This is one of the biggest tools the devil uses against God’s people (Mark 6:15). This not   only cuts us from God’s forgiveness, but it turns one over to the tormentors which in some cases are demons (Matthew 18:23:35).

Other possible traits of this stage are un confessed sins, unholy soul ties, spoken curses, unholy vows and GENERATIONAL CURSES. These are the sins of  many of our ancestors (Exodus 20:5). The remedy to break the  curse is to repent on the behalf of our past ancestors for their sins, and to break any curse in the name of Jesus (Nehemiah 9:2).

My recommendation for casting out GENERATIONAL CURSES is to simply drive the demons out and away. Prayer  and fasting is especially required for this stage. Strong demons who have embedded themselves into our psyches will take longer to disperse of. This technique requires believers to have total faith when casting out these demons. We can also call the demon out by name.. Demon of  un-forgiveness, demon of unwed motherhood, demon of emotional lack, leave in the name of Jesus.

In  an effort for one to take these steps we must first recognize and, acknowledge the cycles which are present in our daily lives. Then we can make a conscious and spiritual effort to resolve the GENERATIONAL CYCLES  which may also include jealousy, anger, depression  and other noticeable cycles presenting themselves.

So people please pay attention to CYCLES which may be hindering you from living a passionate and fulfilled life. And lets set out to make our lives better than previous GENERATIONS.

 

Sincerely Patty

 

 

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Generational Cycles: Motherless child

Yes, were back and continuing our conversation about GENERATIONAL CYCLES, and yes, I have to emphasize the words,  so all can see. Were  going to discuss MOTHERS EMOTIONS today. Like most of you, I love my mother with all my being, and appreciate everything she has ever done, and, or sacrificed for my siblings and my well being.

Regretfully,  I didn’t really start to understand the struggles my mother endured until I became a mother myself. As a child we see so much and understand so little. Early on in my childhood I knew some things  just were not  right. What I did know was, my mother  was going to work every day of her abled bodied life. I know she kept and raised nine children alone. I know that she always made sure we did not go without: food, clothing are housing. We may not have  been rich in emotional love, but my mother certainly showed it in other forms.

But a child doesn’t understand that until  he/she becomes an adult. So it was hard trying to figure out why my mother never displayed emotion with us children or anyone else for that reason. In many ways she came off  as being a COLD and MEAN woman.

I found out with growth that my mother, and her mother and sisters had a hard time communicating and showing affection to one another. I  didn’t notice it until I was older, but the same way my mother didn’t have enough emotion to hug her children and show emotions eventually transferred to my GENERATION. I often  yearned for hugs as a child, yet my mother was not equipped to show that type of emotion. It wasn’t her fault though…   As an adult I soon realized that she couldn’t and wasn’t able to give anything that wasn’t given to her.

This GENERATIONAL CYCLE brought so much clarity into my own life. I had always considered myself to be intelligent, caring and, loving. I was abreast on world matters such as politics, arts, literature and even scientific matters, and emotional matters. It was not until I had my own children when I started to recognize my own displays of affection.  With the help of their father I raise and guided my older boys out of the house and  into their college  and adult years, and more importantly, instilled confidence in them. So  I think I did o.k. as a mother in that aspect. Where I didn’t do so great was the physical touch and emotional part. I was always verbally able  expressing “I love you,” but I could not bring myself to hug my boys . Yes, while they were toddlers it was no problem, but seemed like the older the became it seemed inappropriate (go figure).

I thought something was wrong with me. Then I  started to realize that I was doing or NOT doing the same thing my mother did to her own children.

What I did notice as a young mother was I had adopted the same generational cycle of not hugging. I knew I loved my boys, and I always expressed   that I loved them. My hang-up was the hugging part, and I couldn’t understand why? Their father on the other hand  had no qualms about  this, considering their family is extremely close, so hugging is like second nature to them. So what they didn’t get from me they did get from their father.

I began trying to change in an effort to perform what should be a most natural thing between mother and child. Once I had my two younger children I began to become more self aware, so I began my journey to possible changing. I began to make it a conscious effort  and begin to not only hug my children, but my mother as well even though it was half of a hug, but we have to start somewhere. Unfortunately, it’s still not so easy for some of us, but the  recognition is certainly the first step. We must make the effort to change these cycles if we want our children as well as ourselves to endure happy, healthy and stable relationships.

I have come to the point where I can’t go through the day without a hug or a kiss from my 14 year old. She thinks I am a nag, but that’s ok, I’ll nag her for life. Sometimes I think I’m making up for lost times with my boys. My only regret is not having the same emotional connection with  them as young boys, because I do realize it may have effected them in some way. Although, sometimes still hard to do, on occasion, my children will receives a hug from me whether they want it or not!  I also make a conscious effort to let them know they are well loved and supported by me. And for the most part our relationships are great and loving!

 So today, hug your child! If you can’t, make yourself!

It may very well change their lives for the better.

 

 

Sincerely Patty